Once we were done at Fort Rucker, John had one more school he had to complete before we could PCS to our next duty station. Our household goods were sent ahead and off we went. John went to a command school at Fort Leavenworth, KS. It was only 6 weeks long so Rob and I stayed with family in St. Louis, MO. My folks kept Rob for us for 2 weekends and I drove out to see John. Then Rob and I went out to Fort Leavenworth one weekend for a visit.
Rob was about 3 1/2 so we were looking for something fun to do with him. We decided on going to a mini golf course. It started out as the prefect day. Not too hot, not to cold. It wasn't raining or very windy. But everything was about to change. We got to the course, parked, got our clubs and balls and headed for the first hole. We got through the first hole OK and then it happened. I realized that I had left my camera in the car so I went back to get it. I got it and headed back for hole #2.
Rob looked up, saw me and came running towards me. The problem was he didn't see a metal black rail that was hip high for me and forehead high for him. He ran smack into it. He was going so fast that he flew backwards and just laid there. It took a second but then John and I started running to him. As we got to him, he was just opening up his eyes. At first I thought he was OK. But then he started screaming and blood came rushing out of his forehead. People came running to help and we scooped up Rob and headed to the office.
The manager at the course called 911 and then tried to help us stop the bleeding. By then Rob and I were both in tears. The ambulance showed up quickly and the medics got to work. All we could do was stand there and wait. They got a bandage on his head and strapped him to a back board. I rode with Rob in the ambulance and John followed us to the hospital.
Once we got to the hospital they took us right away. Next there was iv's, blood tests, x-rays and a CAT scan. Lucky for us in the end he only needed stitches...thank god! We were told to keep him quiet for a few days and have the stitches taken out in 7-10 days. To this day, I can still see him flying backwards and the blood gushing out of his head. It always makes me feel like a horrible mother, Rob on the other hand doesn't remember anything.
As our year apart drew to a close we had to decide what our next step would be. Part of the deal with John going to Korea was that we would get to pick where we went for the Officer Advance Course and then our follow on assignment. Now knowing the Army we didn't expect them to keep their word but to our shock they did!
We picked going to the Aviation Advance Course at Fort Rucker, Alabama. Why, you ask? Well I have an answer for that. We knew we wanted to try something different from Air Defense Artillery but what? I think it goes back to when John joined the military. He checked out the Air Force first but his eye sight was too bad to fly. So helicopters were as close as he was going to get. Oh, and it fit the timeline.
John got back from Korea and we spent a week visiting with friends and family before heading out. We got to little Enterprise, Alabama over the weekend and started in-processing Monday morning. As usual our first question was about housing. Rob and I waited nervously at the hotel while John got started. He came and got us at about 10am with a huge smile on his face and a handful of keys.
There were plenty of 3 bedroom homes on base and we were actually going to get our pick. As we drove around and looked we noticed some even bigger houses that were empty. So we went back to the housing office and got some keys for 4 bedroom homes. We couldn't believe our luck, we picked out the perfect house.
One of the highlights of the trip, was getting to tour the DMZ. The trip to the DMZ was incredible. It was something that very few civilians get to see. In fact I was the only civilian on the trip, a big honor for me. First there was a dress code. The soldiers had to wear their Class A uniform and I had to wear a dress. We all loaded up in the bus and began the long drive up there. When we got close to the base it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere. There was a lot of barbed wire and soldiers with rifles.
The first thing we did was to get a security briefing. During the briefing we had to turn in our military id cards and wear a special security badge. There was to be no picture taking and no sudden movements. Then we watched a movie about the history of the DMZ, it had a lot of facts that I didn't know. Next we got to see the "treaty" room. It was a small building with a rectangle table in the middle. There was actually a white line down the middle of the table. At the ends of the table there was a South Korean soldier on one side and a North Korean soldier on the other. We were told no talking and to not engage the soldiers.
We loaded back into the bus and continued with a driving tour. They drove us to the lookout tower. From there you could see the dividing line and the bridge that connected North to South. You could also hear the propaganda that the North blasted over the loudspeakers. We were told that we were being watched through binoculars and I just had a really creepy feeling. When we were done with the driving tour we got to eat lunch there at their dining hall. Then it was time for the long drive home.
I feel so lucky that I got to experience the DMZ. It's not a place that I would want to go back to but I'm glad I saw it.
Seeing John in Hawaii was wonderful and awful at the same time. I knew that I missed him but after mid-tour I felt hollow. I had no idea how I was going to get through the next 6 months. We finally decided that since John couldn't come to me I would go to him.
Both sets of grandparents were going to take care of Rob and I was flying off for a month in South Korea. Now I had to get busy and get my passport and visa in order. I had never been out of the country before but I kept my eyes on the prize of seeing John. After a long flight from St. Louis to L.A. and then an even longer flight from L.A. to Seoul, South Korea I was in his arms again. Perfection!
Getting through customs was hairy. I couldn't read the signs and didn't speak the language. On top of that with my blonde hair I was getting a lot of stares...very unnerving. Anyway, I finally got through and there was John ready and waiting for me.
John was one of the lucky ones. He had a private "hooch" with a living room, bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. John still had to work during the day so I had some time on my hands. He explained the money and showed me the local transportation and then I was off. I would take the city bus downtown to Uijonbu and wander the markets. The markets were unlike anything we have in the states. They were loud, crowded and smelly...I loved it! As I walked by different stalls they would offer me a free sample. That could be a good thing or a bad thing.
Being separated for a year was going to be hard. We just didn't know hard it would be. I hoped that being back in my hometown with lots of friends and family would help, and it did some what. We had been separated in the past but it had been only for a few weeks. Doing it for 52 weeks was totally overwhelming.
The grandparents were thrilled. Since we had lived so far away they hadn't been able to see Rob as much as they wanted. Now they had to decide how to share him. To keep Rob busy I enrolled him in a pre-school program 3 days a week. It was a great way for Rob to socialize with other children and it gave me a welcomed break. When John and I had talked about having a family we always thought it would be a 2 parent involved job. The Korea tour gave me huge respect for single parents.
We knew going into it that John would miss some things but it really hit hard that fall. It was the first Halloween that Rob understood and enjoyed trick or treating. Next was Rob's 2nd birthday. He was growing up so fast! Thanksgiving was spent dividing our time between the grandparents but we all felt John missing. Christmas was the hardest. Rob loved everything that had to do with Christmas-the tree, the lights, Santa Claus and of course presents!
We somehow muddled through everything. In fact, we started getting excited. John had 30 days of leave for mid-tour and we were meeting in Hawaii for 30 days!
We assumed we had everything behind us. We assumed we had a quiet summer ahead of us. We assumed we would be together. Well, you know what they say about assuming.
The Army decided even though we had only been at Fort Bliss, TX for 11 months, that was long enough. In fact they decided the whole unit didn't need to be there. Our unit was being deactivated. So all the LT's were called into a room to decide what they wanted to do. We were given three choices-learn the Patriot missile system, go to the officer advance course really early or go to Korea-alone-for a year.
John and I didn't like any of our choices. We talked for hours over the pro's and con's of each choice. We tried to figure out what was best for our family. Even though it was the hardest choice, we knew it was the right one for us. We picked Korea-alone for a year. At the time, we thought Rob was young enough to not remember, I could go back to St. Louis and stay with family, and mostly we could "check the box" on our own terms.
All the LT's met back into that same room to tell their choices. When it was John's turn he spoke up and said, "Korea". He was the first one and the room fell silent. The LTC sitting in front of the room turned to him and said, "Does Sue know this?!" John laughed and said yes, we made the decision together. The LTC just shook his head and turned around. We were granted our wish and ended up being amoung the first people to leave.
We had 4 weeks to get everything in order, for John and Rob and I. We had to pack and ship stuff to Korea, pack and ship stuff to St. Louis, and pack and store stuff for the year. There was also a passport to get and shots to recieve. Then we had to sell one vehicle and pack the other one for a three day drive across country. Lucky for us my folks flew down and took Rob back with them. Somehow we managed to get everything done in time.
Before we knew it, all the goodbyes were said and I was waving goodbye to John. Let the countdown begin.
We saw 1996 out with a bang. Our hope was that 1997 would roll along gently, but that wasn't in the cards.
The double ear infections that Rob had over Christmas marked numbers 9 & 10 for the year. The doctors decided that he needed ear tubes put in. I knew mentally they were right but emotionally I wasn't ready. I felt like he been through so much already that he deserved a break. The doctors however wanted the tubes in before he got another infection. So the surgery was set up for the first week in February. My Mom flew in to visit/help and she was both. By the time surgery was over John and I were ready to drop and Mom stepped in when we did. The tubes did the job and Rob ears finally started to heal.
Winter rolled on into spring and everything seemed fine. That was until the middle of May. Rob was set up to have his 18 month check up the 3rd Monday of May. It really was suppose to be a check up and one shot, the chicken pox vaccine. The Saturday before the check up Rob woke up with a fever and was rubbing all over. You can see where this is heading. By Saturday night the spots started showing up and by Sunday he was covered with them. The next two weeks were long day spent in oatmeal baths and lots of Calamine lotion. Luckily that helped enough and Rob doesn't have any scars.
Finally we were all healthy and ready to settle into summer. The Army however had other plans for us.
It was Christmas day and now that we had our answer, we had to figure out what to do with it. The doctor took any decision out of our hands and had Rob admitted to the Peds ward at the hospital. Rob was a very very sick little boy. He had always been thin and tall for his age but with the virus he looked thin and sickly. He really had lost a lot of weight...a lot.
A big thing with the virus was that he couldn't keep anything down. They started an IV to keep him hydrated, but unfortunately he has my veins and is a really hard stick. The nurses helped us get him settled in. He felt so awful that he didn't put up any fight. All he wanted to do was to lay there.
We were still fighting the double ear infections too. The antibiotics that he was on wasn't even touching the infection. He did get a little relief when both of his eardrums ruptured. That released the pressure and the infection was able to drain out of his ears. They changed his medicine again and we finally started making headway on the infections.
What we had to do now was wait it out and pray that he got better instead of worse. Once again we took shifts being with Rob in his room. I have no idea how we would have gotten through it if my folks hadn't been there. On December 30th he finally turned the corner. Thank God! All of the medicines kicked in and his fever went way down. They watched him overnight one last time and then discharged us on December 31st...New Years Eve.
The week between Christmas and New Years 1996 is a total blur to us but we made it through. Rob being a normally healthy little boy bounced back very quickly. We all vowed that next year would be better. We have since learned not to think like that very often.
It was the middle of November and we were really looking forward to Rob's first birthday. The hard part was that we were so far away from our families. We did have lots of friends that helped us celebrate and that made it special.
Turning 1 is a big milestone. I do think the birthday party at that age is more for the parents then the child. Rob had lots of things to open and it didn't take him too long to figure things out. As a typical kid he liked playing with the wrapping paper and bows more then the actual toys.
Now it was time for cake. I made cupcakes instead of a large sheet cake. All the kids got their own cupcake and they loved it. We put a big number 1 candle on Rob's cupcake and Dad helped him blow it out. Then before we could move, Rob grabbed the candle and started crying. The flame was out but the wick was still hot. Rob had nothing more then a red spot on the palm of his hand but to us if felt like he had burned his whole hand. Tears were mopped up and Rob dug into the cupcake. He was happy!
John and I still feel guilty about the burn but of course Rob doesn't even remember it:-)
We tried to put the nightmare ranch behind us. So we moved onto Halloween 1996. This would be Rob's first Halloween and we could hardly wait. Of course we were more excited then Rob was:-) I made his costume myself and he was a red M&M. I thought it turned out really cute.
John's unit was hosting a Halloween party. I somehow got roped into planning it. The kids got all dressed up in costumes and were ready for some serious tricker treating. All the offices had decorated their doorways and the kids went door to door. I think the kids liked the decorations as much as they liked the candy.
When everyone was done trick or treating we went down to the briefing room. I had set up 4 games for the kids to play and the winner would receive a special prize. We also did pot luck for snacks and drink. While the kids were playing the games I had people set up to double check the candy and everything came out clean.
The party was a huge hit! Almost everyone stayed until 11pm even though the invitations said 6-9. I was really tired by the end but I was so glad everything had went so smoothly.
We were done with Halloween, next we were onto Rob's First Birthday!
The time of truth is upon us. We step out into the sunlight and blink to adjust our eyesight. Everything looks a little..."rough" in the sun.
Joe takes us to pick out a cabin and we had 4 to chose from. They were very simple adobe buildings. They had windows but no glass, a doorway without a door, slabs of concrete sticking out of the sides of the walls for beds and a dirt floor. Joe takes us to the pool area next which is really just a hole dug out from a back hoe and sided with cement. Joe proudly tells us that he had filled the pool with fresh water, just for us, yesterday. There are more sideways glances between John and I. Next Joe takes us to the "cantina" where everyone goes to relax, knock back a few and play darts.
By now I'm shaking my head NO every time Joe turns his back. There is no way I am staying there any longer, we are out of there. Joe says he guesses we want to start out horse back riding so he goes inside to call the babysitter for Rob. John and I have a very quick discussion and we both agree to leave. I go in and frantically pack everything up while John goes to talk with Joe. I get everything loaded into the Suburban, in goes Lady and I buckle Rob into his car seat.
Joe and John keep walking and talking their way over. John is trying to pay Joe for night and the food but Joe won't hear of it. He is so so sorry we are leaving. He says, don't you even want to stay and take a quick ride. We both say we are so sorry but, no we need to start heading home. Joe apologizes again if he had mis-represented anything. We assured him that he hadn't, it was just going to be too hard with Rob so little.
John and I got on the road heading west towards home in silence. We were both so shell shocked we didn't know where to begin. Finally we looked at each other and started laughing until we were crying.
They had definitely told us it was a working ranch but their definition and ours did not match up at all. We chalked this one up to "Live and Learn".
Anyone that has been in the desert at night before can testify to how dark it is. So all that we had seen so far was the mobile home. We couldn't begin to know what the cabins looked like. Since it was so late and so dark outside Joe told us we would be sleeping in the mobile home that night. Then in the morning with the sun up we would get settled into our cabin. We felt bad, like we were putting him out too much but he wouldn't have it any other way. So John brought in our overnight bag and Rob's pack and play. Joe very kindly gave us the master bedroom with attached "bathroom". So we said our good nights and went back to get settled.
Lady picked one side of the bed and promptly fell asleep. We put Rob into his pack and play on the opposite side of the bed and with little fuss he fell asleep too. John and I weren't so lucky. The bed was lumpy and had a big dip in the middle. We laid there talking for quite a while about what we were going to do in the morning. Things weren't going as we had planned but Joe had been so kind we didn't want to hurt his feelings either. We eventually fell asleep with no plan of action.
Then "IT" happened. It was around 2am, John and I had finally drifted off to sleep when we heard this horrible noise. It sounded like a wounded animal crying right outside our door. The noise got louder as more animals joined in and it started sounding like howling. That was all Lady needed and like a shot she was up in bed between us cowering and whimpering. Soon our bed became a vibrating bed and of course Rob started waking up then too. I pulled Rob into bed with the rest of us, got him calmed down and we all drifted back to sleep around 4am.
At 7am there is knock on the door telling us to rise and shine, breakfast would be ready in 30 minutes. John and I looked at each other like "is he crazy"?! But he wasn't and Lady had to go outside badly! So John took Lady and a big stick out while I got Rob dressed. We all met up in the kitchen and breakfast was just as yummy as dinner was the night before. John and I were finishing up eating and trying to figure out what to do. Joe turns around and asks if we are ready for a tour of the ranch before we decided what activity to do first, so we said yes.
And still more to come...
Bark! Bark! Bark! That's all we could hear. I don't even know what I would have said to John even if he had been able to hear me. We continued our slow drive up the "road" trying not to hit any of 12 dogs that were out there. We finally see a spotlight up ahead and come to a stop next to a mobile home. There was an older gentleman standing out on the porch waving us in. John opened the window and asked what to do about all the dogs. The guy says just a minute, goes inside and comes out with a shot gun, cranks it once the dogs take off. There you go he says so we grab a few things, Rob and Lady and hurry in.
He introduces himself as Joe...just call me Joe...and tells us to take a seat in the kitchen. We gratefully sit down, so glad to be out of the moving truck. There's a long minute of silence because nobody knew where to start. Joe starts off by saying I didn't realize your little one was so little. I said I was sorry I hadn't thought to mention that when they said babysitting available. Clearly my mistake! Another silence. John and I kept looking at each other trying to figure out what to say. Joe breaks the silence by asking if we were hungry. Of course we were, we had just spent 9 hours driving through the desert. He says, let me fix you some dinner.
While he was puttering around the kitchen John and I are whispering, what the hell are we going to do?! Soon the smells coming from the stove were killing us. He fixed us the BEST dinner of hamburgers and home fries we have ever had. And I mean ever! Joe was so proud of himself and told us he had just killed the cow this morning. That totally left us speechless. As Joe sits down to join us, I start giving Rob his last bottle of the night. Joe scratches his head while he watches me. He finally looks at John and says, I guess we should talk about sleeping arrangements for tonight. John and I look at each other and think "now what"?!
Still more to come...
